martes, febrero 12, 2008

Pop Tarts are disgusting

When I returned from Chile after almost two years away, I could think about little besides food. Ok, that's not true, as anyone who has ever read this blog probably knows. However, I was so unbelievably ready to eat like a normal person again, it was beyond ridiculous. I love a good completo, or a lomito italiano. Eating either one of those things with any regularity is, obvio, wrong on many levels.
I realize that speaking as someone who had to have emergency surgery while living in Chile that affects my eating habits to this day and forced me to eat nothing but quesillo, mermalada and galletas aqua for months, I might be a bit biased in my outlook at Chilean food. But the bottom line is: I am from New York. I grew up spoiled in terms of food. Chile was a shock to my system, in more ways than one.

So returning to States, I had a list of all the things I was ready to eat. They were almost all from the Chinese food menu, since Chinese food in Chile is a constant source of disappointment to me and others. I ate sesame chicken everyday for the first week that I was home, due in part to my varying hospital stays, and the fact that people were constantly throwing 20s at me and telling me to “make sure I eat something”. I gained 10 pounds.

And then I moved on to those brightly packaged, hold a meal in your hand kind of American treats. I was thrilled one day to find out that pop tarts only cost two dollars, yet disappointed that they don’t make the low fat s’mores ones anymore. But my American desire for a deal made me grab them anyway.

My god, why did we ever eat these things? Mealy grossness with crusty sugar topping? Propensity to burn in toaster oven if not carefully watched? Lip scalding jam hidden inside? I am disgusted and appalled.

Tomorrow, I choose toaster strudel.

lunes, febrero 04, 2008

18-1

I don't even have to say it. It's all been said.

But maybe Mr. Terrific should take a lesson from the Manning bros about how to be gracious and humble. I blame Belichik. For everything.