My Insanity

You might be asking yourself (probably not, since I doubt anyone is reading this) why is this girl posting about a trip that hasn't happened yet? Well, I'm so glad you asked because I happen to have an answer.

It is no secret that I've been rather insane lately. Crying at my desk for no reason, throwing fits, ratting on my co-workers to HR...this is my life right now. I had no idea that this would happen, as I've been looking forward to (read: fantasizing about) this trip for six months. SIX MONTHS! It was this awesome distant thing that I was going to do that would change my life, and do some good, and get me the hell out of New York City for while.

And its here. It started. We had this shindig last Thursday night, and I met all the organization people who had just been fuzzy pictures on the Internet (which I compulsively check) and email addresses. We raised money and talked about the orgnization. We ate and drank (I'm fairly sure I drank too much both times we hung out....good job Lauren!) together, and the whole thing finally has a face. Well, a bunch of faces. Faces that look just like mine: 25 and full of ideas and hope and energy. Suddenly I am part of something that makes a lot of sense to me, that isn't corporate and drowning in money and promoting a completely false sense of commitment to the greater good. Its real, and I'm scared out of my mind. The scariest thing of all is the fact that I might fail, and since I've publicized the heck out of this trip everyone will know about it if I do.

Perhaps I should have thought of that before starting this blog.