The time has come

I suppose the time has come for me to address a certain situation, that one of our readers already mentioned in the comments. I was trying to ignore it, but I can no longer hide from reality.

Jeremy Shockey is no longer a Giant.

I am deeply saddened by this loss. I am playing with the idea of watching Saints games, the way that one might watch Brett Farve (i mean in the past few years...I can't even get into his current drama) because he's awesome while having no real connection to the Green Bay Packers.

As much as I love you Jeremy, you are no Brett. Granted you both have your fair share of media coverage at this point, and I'd marry either of you if given half a chance. But other than that I can draw no more similarities.

Your potential to achieve Brett status (in my eyes)exists, and perhaps the change of scenery will do you some good. Maybe you won't be as mean to Drew Brees as you were to our Eli.  Maybe you'll be less "combustible" on and off the field. I always admired your willingness to beat yourself up if you made a mistake. Perhaps I didn't realize that you were potentially beating up other players when they did the same.

So long Jeremy! Perhaps we'll meet again in fantasy football land.

Causa y Efecto

A man slapped me this morning. This isn't my chance to self-disclose about domestic violence or anything. A man slapped me because he wanted me to step out of the way as he ran toward the front of the subway. When I yelled after my slapper, he turned to me and said "good morning".

That makes three

Continuing my list of favorite places in Santiago, which has now spilled over into its fourth month with only two posts under my belt, I bring you La Vega.

This is the Vega by mercado central, not to be confused with the other, larger and scarier Vega on the other side of the tracks. This Vega is the feria where, on a lazy Sunday afternoon Liz and I would go and get special gringa priced palta and tomates. We'd create some sort of concotion with whatever looked freshest, generally involving pan de pita and quesillo. Our big plastic shopping bags would be too heavy for one of us, and we'd hop onto the micro, with one handle in each of our hands connected by produce and awkwardly navigating seats filled with moms and their crying babies. At home, unloading the groceries and realizing we'd bought too much for two people, we'd start texting and skyping friends, inviting them over to share our feast. A few hours and boxes of gato later, we'd made the most of our lazy sunday.

Thank the thankless please

You know you're having a good time when someone brings you and unexpected free lunch, and then apologizes for the fact that you have to walk less than 30 feet to get your soda. It is an especially good time when at your last conference, know one gave you anything, they treated you like you were an inconvenience, and merely offered cashews and a cash bar at their big "reception".

With all of this conference-related traveling, I've come to realize that event and conference planners have thankless jobs. I don't even remember the name of the conference facilitating this thing, just that it's an NAF conference. Thus, NAF gets all of my praise, much of it deserved. However, had this experience been as crappy as what I got from Czarsnowski, I'm sure I'd know. Because I'd be bitchily complaining about it.

Next time you are at an event, thank them for not being assholes. Not just the hosts, but whoever is standing around wearing black holding a clipboard. It's good karma.

Meet the Fake Boyfriend

Fake Boyfriend (n):

1) The guy you're having sex with, and going on dates with, and texting all day who won't commit, or who you won't commit to;
2) Your male "best friend" who you go on dates with, who your social circle thinks your dating, but you've never crossed the platonic ocean with

Main distinctions between the fake boyfriend and the fuck buddy:
1) Fake boyfriend calls you for more than sex (def.1)
2) Fake boyfriend wants you for something other than sex (def.2)

The whole idea of dating/vs. not dating, commitment-phobes and casual sex is nothing new, but if I hear one more girl tell me that plans are on hold or up in the air because she's making plans with fake boyfriend, I'm going to scream. I'm all for male friends, and tend to prefer their interaction to women's at times (except that as a result of the preference, I talk like a gd sailor), but we're taking it too far. The end result is: the fake relationship precludes the real relationship. So for all of those women (and men) out their who are using their fake partners in place of their real ones because they're afraid of commitment, don' t they realize that they're actually just in a relationship anyway? And in #2's case, a sexless one?

Just for the record, my current scorecard: Fake boyfriends - 2, Real boyfriends - 0.