I almost titled this post "Here I Go Again" in honor of the Red 7 crew, which really (as Amelia reminded me) only consisted of she and I when it came to karaoke. And "Here I go again" wasn't actually our song, it was "I want you back" and when we sang it, I think we made everyone hate that song a tad bit more than they had before. As if it's possible to truly hate that song.
But here we are, getting ready for another new class, planning another Palooooza (which might be my favorite event) if for no other reason than I get to bring my black dresses into rotation. "What to wear?" for me means "Which black dress to wear?"
Re-reading old posts, which I've done since I noticed that more and more people are reading this blog, made me feel like maybe (as I do in my own journal) I talk a lot about things that aren't happening, or that should have. I remember well talking about the "Land of Missed Opportunity" because I got a lot of "hang in there" emails as a result. The truth is that today, or maybe the last few days, a have dropped quite a few wonderful things into my lap. Since the beginning of August, I've felt a big wave of self-confidence, and people read that way more than I give them credit for. I talk about things like they are going to happen, rather than like they should.
We've (perhaps) hit a slow patch. No new projects are starting (which is really a good thing) and we're on our "low" number of volunteers for the year, which is normal during the winter. But people just seem to be enjoying themselves, the kids (some of whom are going to build snowmen at a ski resort tomorrow), and the weird, gray, Santiago life. As I made a Facebook profile last night (don't ask) I was getting unbelievably nostalgic (compounded by the fact that I am going home in two weeks) for New York. I look at the photos that I took around the city and I think that New York just seems so much more crisp and orderly somehow. And that appeals to me.
But at the same time, I solidifying all of these relationships that I was scared to death to solidify before. The thought of getting too close with people who I might only know for 6 months (or even 3...dear god) was terrifying, and I shut myself off. More and more, I'm laughing the laugh of someone who is actually connecting with those around her. So much so that yesterday, as I misheard every sentence out of a volunteers mouth (and yet insanely answered her questions), we weren't laughing because I've lived in Chile for more than a year and should know Spanish already, but because life is fun.
But here we are, getting ready for another new class, planning another Palooooza (which might be my favorite event) if for no other reason than I get to bring my black dresses into rotation. "What to wear?" for me means "Which black dress to wear?"
Re-reading old posts, which I've done since I noticed that more and more people are reading this blog, made me feel like maybe (as I do in my own journal) I talk a lot about things that aren't happening, or that should have. I remember well talking about the "Land of Missed Opportunity" because I got a lot of "hang in there" emails as a result. The truth is that today, or maybe the last few days, a have dropped quite a few wonderful things into my lap. Since the beginning of August, I've felt a big wave of self-confidence, and people read that way more than I give them credit for. I talk about things like they are going to happen, rather than like they should.
We've (perhaps) hit a slow patch. No new projects are starting (which is really a good thing) and we're on our "low" number of volunteers for the year, which is normal during the winter. But people just seem to be enjoying themselves, the kids (some of whom are going to build snowmen at a ski resort tomorrow), and the weird, gray, Santiago life. As I made a Facebook profile last night (don't ask) I was getting unbelievably nostalgic (compounded by the fact that I am going home in two weeks) for New York. I look at the photos that I took around the city and I think that New York just seems so much more crisp and orderly somehow. And that appeals to me.
But at the same time, I solidifying all of these relationships that I was scared to death to solidify before. The thought of getting too close with people who I might only know for 6 months (or even 3...dear god) was terrifying, and I shut myself off. More and more, I'm laughing the laugh of someone who is actually connecting with those around her. So much so that yesterday, as I misheard every sentence out of a volunteers mouth (and yet insanely answered her questions), we weren't laughing because I've lived in Chile for more than a year and should know Spanish already, but because life is fun.
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